My check

Of course like everyone else I am waiting with bated breath for President-elect Obama to take office so I can begin to receive my check from the government. While I am definitely being facetious I am worried about another check. Several years ago I switched my check from my employer to direct deposit. While I waited for the direct deposit to go into effect I continued to deposit paychecks as I was paid.  The next two paychecks I did not realize that they were only pay stubs and did not have a signature at the bottom of the check, so I deposited them as normal. The funny thing was that the tellers did not notice either and approved the stubs for deposit. You can imagine my horror when I opened a letter from my bank telling me that the last two deposits to my account were being removed. At the time I did not have online banking so all night and the next morning I worried about my bank account. Once the bank opened I was able to see that my checks had been direct deposited and that the bank had simply given me double credit by depositing the check stubs. What a relief to know that the balance was correct.

I thought about this last night and was struck by something. What is going to happen when I go to cash my spiritual checks? What happens when I have been making all of these deposits all along only to find out that they were bogus deposits and there is nothing in the account? What happens when the money runs out?

Eli deposited the check of tradition and routine and one day when bad news came his account was dry and he fell over dead. David deposited the check of worship by convenience and when he went to make a withdrawal and found his account empty he went off into a state of depression. Gehazi, Elisha’s servant, deposited the check of receiving recognition for work, and found himself with an empty spiritual account and leprosy to boot. Saul made constant deposits with checks for future glory, and saw his son die on the battlefield with him, alone and without God’s help.

So what do I do if the deposits that I have been making all along are bogus and are not showing up in my account? What do I do when all has been self-serving, or for show and I need to make a withdrawal? Oh God grant me your grace, which I do not deserve.

A pair of vise grips

I hate it when I make the same mistakes over and over. Usually they are made because I don’t think through what is happening and process the information before I act. The problem is that I have a very slow processor and a very active hard drive. Last week my wife interrupted me from being beaten by Lewis on the Wii. She very excitedly told me that there were some guys in our front yard trying to take down the street sign for the park up the road. Immediately the hard drive went into accelerator mode while the processor just began to whirr. (you know the sound a computer makes when you are waiting for something to finish) The hard drive said, “shoes, phone, call 911, grab the kids, tackle them, open the door, run, do SOMETHING. The problem is because the processor was struggling this is how those thoughts were processed. phone, tackle, truck, shoes, door, 911, kids, teens, truck. As it was I ran out the door while they were still in the front yard. Due to my haste I was still on the phone with 911, while I was running towards the truck. When the guys saw me coming they jumped into the back of the ISUZU RODEO and left quickly.

Why does it matter? Well first of all I feel pretty strongly about stealing street signs.

Secondly, the street sign was for a park just a block from my house where my kids play all the time.

Thirdly, these teenage punks thought they were going to steal the sign from my front yard.

Fourthly, I haven’t tackled anyone in a long long time and I thought it would be pretty cool.

So where do the vise grips come in to play? Well in their haste to depart the scene the punks dropped a pair of vise grips. Seeing me coming with a full head of steam, and what probably looked to him like slow motion, he left them and jumped into the truck. So now I have another pair of vise grips, due to a slow working processor. There are so many other ways I could have handled this and probably would have caught these little crooks in a vise but my faulty processor hung me out to dry.

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