I often talk to people who are looking to attain a certain status in life so that they can feel as if they have arrived and somehow their worries and stress will melt away. Most of those who are seeking this mystical, euphoric state are constantly pushing forward in their attempt to reach this supposed level of achievement. Especially as a child of God we think that forward is always better and that if we just learn one more spiritual truth, read one more awesome Christian book, and make another monumental religious decision we will reach this state we are constantly seeking.
I would propose however that maybe we should seek to regress in our thinking to an earlier point in our life when possibly we did not have as much. Maybe there was a point in our life when we were content to just watch what God was doing and we were willing to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit without consulting today’s top “Christian” leaders and their laws or points of success that guarantee we can live our Christianity to the fullest.
I was able to witness something pretty awesome in my children this morning. Lydia (13), Lewis (10), and Landon (5) were all lackadaisical in getting ready for school this morning. As a father who likes to be on time I just decided that when they were ready AND had completed the tasks that I gave them we would leave for school and not a minute before. Needless to say we were late.
Lewis was furious because he believes you MUST be on time and is very conscious of having to walk into a room late. Lydia felt that I had personally insulted her by making her not be at school during what she would call the appropriate time, although for her that time changes daily. Landon on the other hand was quite a different story. During the five minute drive to school he never shut his mouth. “Are we going to get a tardy? If we get a tardy this will be my second tardy this year. Man, I don’t want a tardy! Dad, do you think the other doors will still be unlocked? Are we still late? Man! whoa my second tardy!” As soon as we arrived at the school he meekly (very unusual for Landon) joined in the line of other students to receive his little pink slip. I needed to speak briefly with his teacher so I walked with him to class. As soon as we left the office the tardy was behind him. He had received what he had dreaded for the last 10 minutes and he was ready to proceed with his life. His focus was now on his class and what he was going to be able to do that day. Therefore the non-stop talking started again as he discussed the books he had been reading and was going to be tested on.
I left him in his classroom somehow feeling relieved myself as for a moment I saw life through the eyes of a little child. Having Dad standing with him when he received his tardy made everything more bearable and now life could move on to the next great adventure. I’ve been there spiritually, and I’ve been content to just watch God at work and revel in His Grace. Too many times though I find myself acting like my 10 year old who marched off to class feeling as if he had somehow failed at life as we are sometimes wont to do when we feel as if things are just not going right and maybe if we just did something else good for God he would turn around our lives as a reward. My moment of reprieve lasted until I reached the icy interior of my truck where my 13 year old sat believing that dad, mom, and teachers had somehow conspired together to ruin her life for the day and quite possibly for eternity. And I thought as I drove away, “God, I’ve certainly acted that way towards as well.”